Jesus didn’t “fit-in”

The last couple of blogs have been a little serious – just kind of missing the humor that I usually write with. Those were hard topics but very much the REALITY of divorce. Divorce is hard – it has its’ very own grief process. If that process isn’t handled with care, if we don’t accept and receive the grace God has given us – our divorce could very well define us. These last few post have just been some small reminders to help you recognize and unpack those unwanted feelings. And of course, to shine some light on the fact that YOU are not the only one who is struggling.

To be absolutely honest with you, I was planning to wade through another deep post today. But God – His plan is ALWAYS better than mine. Today has been one of those days that I truly just need to laugh. I need to give myself permission to laugh at myself, my mishaps, my mistakes, and my failures. Mainly because I’ve experienced all of the aforementioned today and we are only half-way through the day.  As I prayed while getting ready to sit down and write, I had a little God-wink about todays blog.  And I was reminded that we are all knee-deep in stress and feelings – while those feelings and experiences are reality, we also need to be able let go and laugh! That’s what this blog is about. There is absolutely nothing funny about divorce, but we do need to lighten the weight of our divorce that we carry around with us. So we’ll get back to the deeper stuff soon, but today I just need to laugh and I hope you do too!

First – let me give you a quick re-cap of my morning thus far… I started my day at the gym at 5AM. Next to God and my husband – these gym folks are MY people (even if we don’t always get to chat – there’s something about sweating it out next to them that just kind of seals our friendships). I’m usually there at 5AM religiously. My Coach is a rock for me – and I don’t have words that would do her justice. However, in my sleep- deprived state, I’ve missed a few days lately and gotten a little slack on my eating.  So at 4:00AM my alarm goes off and as I’m getting dressed I realize I can’t do today’s workout in any of my current shorts. I’m feeling my slack and I’ve packed on a little pudge in the rear and it is highly likely that I will rip the butt straight out of my shorts if I squat (and todays workout is packed with squats)! So I pulled out a pair of Nike shorts I wore when I first started my fitness journey – eeeeeeeeek! They were frumpy and big but at least I could walk and squat – HAHA! Oh how I did not need the tight clothes struggle this morning! This was laugh or cry moment #1 – #BigBootyProblems.

I come in from the gym and have my coffee, banana, and bacon. My two year old twins are still asleep so after my devotion time – Momma takes a nap (remember, I said above -completely sleep deprived – lol)! Around 9:30 I start packing everyone up to head over and check out my oldest daughter for an orthodontist appointment at 10:00. I’ve been lazy and let the twins sleep in so I pack them an “on-the-go” breakfast bowl. We get my oldest from school and get to the orthodontist right on time. I realize as they call her back for her appointment, I’ve forgotten the entire diaper bag – breakfast and all, at home! It’s gonna be 10:45 before my two year-olds eat breakfast. Laugh or cry moment #2 – #MomFail.

To recover my #MomFail on the breakfast, we shoot over to Chick-fil-A for some nuggets before checking my oldest back into school. As I’m leaving Chick-fil-A, I realize I didn’t make her follow-up appointment when we left the orthodontist and I didn’t get her school excuse – I just walked right out! So we have to go back to the orthodontist before we can go back to school. Doctor’s excuse is a must! Laugh or cry moment #3 – #MyForgetfulMistake.

Finally, all my kiddo’s are fed and we’ve checked my daughter back into school. I whip in the driveway ready to make a run for the restroom – my body may have recovered from the twin pregnancy but my bladder has not! I make it just in time! And then I REALIZE, my pants are on BACKWARDS. Probably not a huge deal since they are just black Nike – Pro leggings, right? EXCEPT, they have a reflective, silver Nike swoosh that normally sits right around my left hip-flexor if my pants are on correctly. Being that they are on backwards, it now sits about mid-level on my right but cheek! Remember how I said I’m packing a little pudge in the rear?? Yeah – that swoosh sign was stretched out and reflecting right across the big booty I was trying to minimize with my black leggings! Laugh or cry moment #4 – #WardrobeMishaps. 

I began singing Frozen’s ‘Let it Go’ – HaHa!

How does #BigBootyProblems, #MomFail, #MyForgetfulMistakes, and #WardrobeMishaps relate to you and your divorce??? In more ways than you would think!

How do you react to yourself when you mess-up?

When you make a mess, when you forget something, when you embarrass yourself – how do you react? Do you cry? Get angry? Withdraw? All of the above? If you over-react or get completely derailed by your own mishaps, how can you expect to handle mishaps with others? Especially your Ex??

Did you know how you react to yourself closely mirrors how you react to those around you?

I’m not saying we are never allowed to mess-up and dwell on it. I’m also not saying that I always laugh and let it go – that’s far from the truth! But I am saying we need to be able to take ourselves a little less seriously. WE need to lessen the consequences we give ourselves for messing up! We tend to hold others accountable to the same standard we hold ourselves. That’s actually a good thing, EXCEPT – we have gotten to a place in society where we hold ourselves to a standard of perfection that is almost unattainable.

Is God perfect? YES! God is absolutely perfect! But other than Jesus, the Son of God, not a soul has walked the earth in perfection. Not the disciple. Not even Joseph and Mary-who were chosen to raise Jesus here on earth. Think back to the book of Luke, imagine Joseph and Mary when they realized they had walked “a days journey” after the Passover feast and not accounted for the whereabouts of their son Jesus. I’ve read that this journey would have been equivalent to driving from Chicago to Minneapolis before noticing your child isn’t with you. Can you imagine? I don’t believe at all that they “forgot” about Jesus – I believe we don’t understand the full scenario but its likely that by this point, Jesus had proven himself so responsible that there wasn’t a need to keep a thumb on him at every step. Also,  the Jewish culture celebrated a boys transition into a young man at the age of 12 – so Jesus was considered “of age”. The point is not whether Mary and Joseph “messed up” and left him, rather it’s that this story doesn’t define who they are as parents or as people in society. The story doesn’t tell us how Mary coped along that journey – I like to imagine that means her faith in God’s protection and plan was so strong that she wasn’t shaken.  It does say they sought his whereabouts amongst kinfolk and acquaintances before heading back to Jerusalem. Jesus was found in Jerusalem in the temple learning and asking questions.

The idea here is that our foundation is in Christ. No mistake, mishap, or fail is big enough to break our foundation. We can choose if we allow these messes to dictate our future or if we focus on our faith in God for our future and laugh at our messes!

Messes and mistakes are part of life on earth! We all make them. Our exes make them too! Jesus challenged the “norms” of society for His day in time. He didn’t fit in, He didn’t follow along, He didn’t sell himself short on account of being liked. He stood strong in His purpose, He let offenses roll off His back, He loved on His enemies, He was an includer, He sought to glorify the Father and that actually made Him rather “unpopular” to some. What if we challenged the “norms” of our society? I challenge you to do just this! Allow yourself to laugh today – at yourself, at things you’ve done in the past, at mistakes others have made that you were mad at. Just LAUGH. Don’t worry about how your mistakes may look to others or how they perceive you. Don’t try to “fit in”. Don’t follow along. Don’t sell yourself short. Let offenses (especially by your ex roll-off your back). Show Christ-like love to your enemies. Glorify God in all that you do – YES, this means do your best to glorify Him in your interactions with your ex! You know why? Because Jesus loves your ex!

We aren’t called to fit-in, we were made to stand-out!

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Founder of Jesus loves your ex ministries! I’m a born again sinner saved by the amazing grace of our Mighty God. I’m happily married to my best friend and fellow warrior in God’s army. I have three daughters - a teenager from my previous marriage and twins that are two! My ministry and blog is dedicated to those walking in the nasty mess of divorce. I’ve been divorced for twelve years and I’m truly passionate about helping others heal and maintain their hope through seeking Christ and allowing Him to heal our wounds. I am blessed beyond all measure!

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